Random Word Vomit

This week several interesting things have happened, both good and not so good.

-Drake now throws away all of his own diapers, even the poopy ones.
-Sometimes, he also throws away other things. Like video games, controllers, and dog toys.
-He loves it when you read to him.
-He also demands you read a book even if he is no longer interested in sitting still- YOU HAVE TO FINISH THE BOOK. Or he has a meltdown
-I don't tolerate meltdowns very well.
-Meltdowns are frequent in my house lately, and not all of them are Drake's.
-Nap time has been reduced to one 1-hr nap.
-Bed time has been pushed back from 7pm to 8:-30-9 pm.
-On the bright side, wake up time is usually around 9 or 10 am :)
-Drake destroyed his favorite book this afternoon.
-I am pleased. I hate that book. (FYI: It was Is Your Mama a Llama?)
-I finally started taking pictures of interesting and/or funny things that have happened to me lately.
-The bad news is they are all iPad photos.
-My iPad got corrupted and I had to restore to factory defaults, thereby losing EVERYTHING on my iPad.
-I never backed it up on the computer because I didn't have time for that.
-Guess what I do now? NOT BACK IT UP.
-I lost 2.3 lbs last week.
-Just 3.3 lbs until I hit my 10% lost goal!
-I only went to the gym once last week.
-I haven't been to the gym this week either.
-Brian told me tonight he wants to start going to the gym with me once or twice a week and he even has a baby sitter arranged so we can go.
-I am both mystified and inspired by this.
-I have been hanging out with friends around a fire for a few hours after Brian and Drake go to bed. Yay for being independent!
-Woodchuck cider is now my new favorite alcoholic beverage as it is only 2 points+. And it tastes like... cider. Go figure.
-I bought some supplies to start up my Etsy business for realsies this time.
-I have no idea where I put any of it.
-I have been using my self-tanner daily. I'm kidding. More like 2-3 times a week. I am still streaky- but only where my arm fat meets my boob fat.
-I made my own body scrub and it was fantastic. My legs have never been smoother after shaving.
-Loki (the cat) got out of the apartment and hung out at a neighbor's all day.
-I had no idea he was missing.
-The fluffy monster is so miserable in this heat, the poor bastard.
-I'm shaving him tomorrow.
-Yes. There WILL be pictures.
-My hair is growing out super fast.
-I owe it to coconut oil and biotin. Seriously. I take two biotin capsules a day, and once a week I deep condition my hair with coconut oil, leaving it in for 20 minutes while I derp around on the internet, then I shampoo it out (sometimes twice, if I put too much oil in) and it is super SOFT. It also stripped my hair of the dark brown I had put on it, and now it is my natural light brown/dark blonde color.

Now, time to gargle and rinse.

A Poem.

It's raining, it's pouring

My old man is snoring.

Fuck this shit, 

I'm not getting wet.

I'll go to the gym in the morning.

Despite my butchered attempts at children's poetry, I actually went to the gym today. And like my poem, it was raining pretty hard. I didn't notice of course, until I was already outside. Hmmm. No jacket or anything. So I just got in the car and went to the gym. Fuck it. It's only water. It's not like I was wearing make-up, had a cute outfit on, or even had clean hair. So it wasn't going to hurt me any.

I love going to the gym late at night (or is it obscenely early?) because no bothers are given. Not that anyone cares what you look like at the gym anyway, but it's extra nice when there are so few people you can count them on your hand, including the staff. 

Today I did the 30 minute express workout. I feel like I have to talk myself into going to the gym even though I actually enjoy myself once I get there. But I was feeling lazy and it's shark week, so negotiations had to be made. "Just go for 30 minutes," my skinny future self is saying. But my PMS self is like "No, you're stupid, and I just want to stay home and eat tacos." "Thirty minutes and you can leave." "Pffft fat chance." "You already took the fat chance, take the skinny chance." "Meh" "DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY." "Jesus, ok, Yoda, I'll go for 30 minutes. But I don't want to be on the elliptical the whole time." "Do the 30 minute express room." "Hmmm" "You can tan after." "...Okay, deal." 

I get there and it's pretty much deserted. There are maybe 4 people there, 2 women and 2 men. The women are fat and they are on the cardio machines. The men are short and they are lifting weights in the corner. Stereotypes, man, stereotypes. So I go in the back room where they have the express circuit and it's all to myself. I go around and set up all the machines and then just have at it. Lifting, doing cardio in between, rinse and repeat. And after the 30 minutes were up, I considered tanning. I was far too sweaty for that nonsense. I didn't want to get undressed then get dressed again in sweaty clothes. I don't take any spare clothes with me to the gym. I just like to go, workout, leave. I wasn't ready to go home yet though, so I hopped on the treadmill and did another 20 minutes of walking at a 3.0 pace on a 7.0 incline. It felt great. It was strenuous enough to keep my heart rate around 145 but it wasn't too taxing on my ankle, so I kept at it. It was nice to change up the cardio game as well. 

My squat challenge... has been SOOO neglected. I can't decide if I should just play catch up with the squats, or if I should not worry about the days I've missed and just start on today's, or what. I think I will play catch up and just get them out of the way. It won't be such a pain once I get it done and get back on schedule. 

I need to quit being on the computer. I have to get back to my crocheting. I am doing something really awesome with it and it needs to be done TOMORROW so I can't really dilly-dally. 

Lata, homies!

Weekend Recharge and Small... Medium... Rant.

Slept a lot this weekend. I guess Brian realised that without me getting sleep the house falls into a black hole of chaos and disorganization and mess and a thousand other adjectives to describe it.

I get overwhelmed easily, especially when it comes to cleaning, so while I slept, Brian cleaned the house for me. He got everything done but 2 loads of dishes. Wow!! I woke up to a completely different house. I loved it! What a great man I am married to. He did make me promise to "at least try" to stay on top of it this week. He didn't do it all to be a wonderful husband though- he wanted to have friends over Sunday, so he knew he had to accomplish something to "convince me" (whatever works, I guess)

In other news, I realized that I am a sack of worthless crap when it comes to being a housewife. I can't stand not working, so I picked up my full schedule again. Good thing too, it's been super busy lately and that just means more money for me!! After a really easy month in April, it feels great to be swamped and busy again.

I still haven't been to the gym since Wednesday night but that is okay, I have still been doing my squats and weight lifting at home. I am eager to hit the gym today though and get in my HIIT. That's high intensity interval training for those of you who don't know what that means. Basically, its short intervals of high intensity exercise (ie run like the zombies are chasing you) followed by medium intervals of recovery (ie, strolling through the library) and you repeat those for about half an hour to 45 minutes.

So I've been doing 30 seconds of zombie running followed by 60 seconds of oh my god I am going to die I need to walk to recover let's pretend I found the world's biggest library and wander around in it for ever-- OH GOD ZOMBIES!!! RUUUUUN

it's entertaining, at least.

In 15 minutes I manage to burn nearly 300 calories, so you can imagine my excitement when I can push it to twenty. I usually cap out around twenty or twenty five minutes, then do a cool down for 10 minutes (hey, it's rough, ok? I max out my heart rate EVERY TIME) then I hide in a corner until I stop hyperventilating.

Friends, I lost 2.2 lbs this week, bringing my total since I restarted WW up to 3.4 lbs, and I am down 23.4 lbs from my highest weight! I have lost a toddler in weight, folks, and it feels GREEEEAT. (yes, said in the Tony the Tiger voice. You're welcome)

I have 1.5 lbs until I hit my 10% goal at WW! 5 lbs until I hit my personal mini-goal! So things are moving right along in the positive direction! I just need to keep doing what I am doing- tracking everything that passes my lips and working out like a beast. Ideally I would like to be under 200 pounds by Drake's 2nd birthday, but realistically I will settle for 215- that would be all of my baby weight GONE in two years, averaging out to about .5 lb a week. SAFE. That gives me 35 weeks to lose 20 lbs, so I think that is plenty of time. I may even surprise myself and hit my 200 mark.

We have had a rough couple of nights around here, Drake has NOT been sleeping more than an hour or two at a time, and it is driving both of us bat shit crazy. Mostly me though, because Brian had to work today so I got him every time he woke up. Which sucked, because I was working too.

**Caution, the following is a rant. Those who do not want to read it may go to this page here and look at fluffy kittens. Those who want to see what ticked me off should keep reading.***

Also, tiny little side rant. This woman who was checking out our groceries really pissed me off. She was talking to the woman in front of us, us, and the woman behind us, the entire time about her child with disabilities. This is not what upsets me, I understand caring for kids is hard enough, and 12395798567293874 more intense when they have disabilities or special needs.What upset me was the woman in front of us was DONE PAYING and the cashier would just NOT let her go. Then, when we get up there she comments on Drake, not unusual, he gets lots of attention. But the first thing she says is "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS EYE?!?!" in this huge loud annoying voice so everyone looks around. So I say "Nothing is wrong with his eye." "THEN WHY DOES IT LOOK ALL FUNNY?!" Obviously she was not graced with a huge vocabulary....I'm getting ruffled and about to blow my lid. Drake has been crying the entire time we have been shopping, I hadn't eaten in awhile so I was hangry, and Brian takes over and explains that there is not anything medically wrong with his eye, but he does have a coloboma in it. Then he explains what that means blah blah blah.... and the bitch goes "Oh." and looks VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED that there is nothing wrong with his vision. Then she goes on to say "Shouldn't he be wearing glasses at all times then?" So I said "what part of there is nothing wrong with his eye don't you understand?" and I left. Hahahaha took all the groceries and Drake, and just left Brian to pay.

Yeah, that's right. If you complain about my son's eye after we have explained that there is nothing wrong with it, I will snap at you and get snarky. And you deserve it. Also I know that part of it is because Drake was being cranky and I was frazzled and hungry myself, so I had ZERO tolerance, but I don't play nice with people who keep insisting they know what is "the correct" way to "treat" his eye. Look, PAL, we have an EYE DOCTOR for that VERY REASON. And if the EYE PROFESSIONAL says there is nothing wrong with it, I do not want your cashier expertise on the matter. Unless I am writing you a check.

Rant over.


I have some exciting things coming up this week, like a baby shower for my best friend, a birthday party for Brian's friend, Mother's Day (!!) and next week is our 4th Anniversary!! So I can't wait to show you what I have been doing to prepare for all of that stuff.

Squat Challenge Update

Anyone else doing the 30 Day Squat challenge from Pinterest? As I mentioned previously, I started it on May 1st, so I just completed Day 3. Technically it is May 4th, but I haven't been to sleep yet so shut your pie holes, I did my squats at 4 am it doesn't matter as long as they get done, okay?!?! Ok.

In three days, I have done a total of 165 squats! Half of those were standard squats and the other half have been wide-stance squats to work out the inner thighs more.

UGH I hate that I decided to do that because my thighs buuuuurn. It sure does hurt to do anything, including laying down. Although, to be honest, it's not all from this squat challenge. I was at the gym on Wednesday night/early Thursday and I did the hip abduction and adduction machines... you know, the ones that make you feel like you are at the gynecologist? You spread your legs then push them back together. Anyway, the machines are weighted so I thought I would work out like a man, and use weights that were at the very limit of what I was able to lift. Obviously I tried a little too hard. My legs and hips are so swollen, my underwear doesn't fit! And I know it's not that I have gained weight, as I am actually down this week!

I also must admit that I did not stretch afterward, and I attribute some of my pain to that. I am working on stretching now, since I made the mistake of not doing it and can hardly walk, let alone take a pee without being in excruciating pain. Seriously- recovering from the c-section was easier!

My little Dragon boy woke up in the middle of typing up this post. He cracks me up, he is changing soooo much. I took him out of his crib and the first thing he does is wander into the kitchen and reach for the peanut butter. haha! Guess the little monkey was hungry. So he had a half-peanut butter sandwich and I gave him some juice. We read a story and practised giving smooches. He loves to give kisses now and he does it all shy like, where he leans in all uncertain. Hahaha! It makes me laugh so much. Then I told him that it was time to go back to bed, so he grabbed his bottle and walked right back into his room. I blew Brian's mind with that trick earlier tonight.

Ah it's probably time to get to bed since it's 5am and I have a busy day ahead. Have a good weekend, lovelies!

Feelin' the Burn

I've decided that I am going to do Weight Watcher meetings as well as be an online subscriber. I think the social interaction and the accountability will be great for me. I love driving the car and going places now, so I think it will be some great "me" time to do it. I will have to wait until I can get paid to join up, but meh, I'm feeling very patient lately.

I started this squat challenge I found on Pinterest. One of my friends was doing it, so I decided to pin it and eventually give it a shot. I think she is on day 13 and Wednesday was my Day 1. What can I say, I want to do it at the start of the month :)

Anyway, here is the image, if you would like to join me on this challenge. I've decided that I am going to do half of the squats standard, and the other half are going to be wide-stance squats, to work the inner thighs more. Oh, I love the self-inflicted punishments.

I have another routine that I am going to start today (because I forgot to yesterday when I went to the gym) and that is Prevention's Shrink a Size in 14 days. Average participants lost 12 lbs and 22 inches off of their bodies, just by following the workouts and a sensible diet. What diet? Whatever yours is, as there isn't one listed or recommended. However since I follow WW, I'm just going to stick with that.

I bought a new scale, kitchen scale, and a new set of measuring cups and spoons. I got the official Biggest Loser kitchen scale, and I like it so far. It definitely makes it easier to weigh out pasta and protein, since WW counts fruits and veggies as "free".

The bathroom scale is pretty high tech too. It records your BMI, bone density, hydration levels, and body fat percentage. My hydration was crazy low. It is supposed to be in the range of 50-55% of my body weight, and I was registering at 38.5%, so I've made drinking water a priority.

I stayed under my points today, which is always great! In addition to eating right and drinking lots of water, I worked out pretty hard core too. I am definitely feeling the burn. My legs are very jiggly and like jelly.

I did:

50 squats
45 tricep extensions (15 per arm, then 15 two handed extension)
25 minutes on the elliptical at a 3.5-4.0 pace
100 each hip adduction and hip abduction at 130 lbs (or as I like to call them, the gyno machines.)
12 minute ab circuit.

Now, I am officially going to pass out for a few hours. It's currently almost 2:30 AM right now and I have to wake up at 5 to make Brian's breakfast and lunch. Although I did most of the prep work already. We are having a healthier version of french toast. He's also eating leftovers for lunch! Booyah!!