Certifiably nuts

Things are looking up
job offers on the horizon
more unemployment money until then
yet I break down sobbing in front of mom and hubby
mom throws paper wads at me
I start laughing thinking this must look nuts
I realize this is nuts I'm nuts why am I crying
everything is going great?

Truth is I was scared
scared it wasn't real
even if it isn't
the worst that will happen is move home
with my parents

and have more paper thrown my general direction

Before and After

Hmm... I've (mostly) decided that after I hit my goal weight I will post before and after shots, blurring out mah face, of course.

I even think I will use a wedding photo, since that was when I was at my heaviest.

and the after shot... will be a bikini! LOL no but probably something fun.

I should hit my goal in September-October, if all goes well. So look forward to then. I know I am!!

Happy happy birthday from all of us to you....

We wish it was our birthday
so we could party too
happy happy birthday
may all your dreams come true
we wish it was our birthday
so we could party too!

-Emperor's New Groove


Happy birthday to the hubby! he's 24 today. :)

I'm Hot, You're Not

But it's ok.


Who knew that eating less and exercising lead to weight loss?

Be jealous.

I won't mind.

It's something to be jealous of

When you lose 20 pounds in 37 days.

Truth or Myth

The hunt for Robert Asprin's "Myth" series.

It's been an ardous journey. After many trips around the citys few bookstores I found the first in the series. The store also had the rest starting at volume 3. Volume 2 was missing! Checked the other stores, no go.

Oh well says mom buy them anyway
So I did


On a whim at 7 am I check the store inventory online

Sucess!! They have it! I reserved a copy to pick up today.

Then I went back to bed, dreaming of True Blood.

I <3 Spam

Not the kind you eat
The kind you get in your e-mail box.
Now, Gmail is kind enough to catch 97% of it for me
But I still read some.

My favorites:

From: MARK HANCOCK
Hello, my name is Richard Wilkinson, and I blah blah blah....

From: MR JESSICA BROWN
Send me $190 for your African bank draft of 85,000....

From: MARK HANCOCK
Hello, my name is Robert Smith and I am the CEO of .....


From: Rewards alert
Subject: RE: $1500 gift card



But my favorites are the ones that quote random books (like Harry Potter or Jane Austen) or the Bible and are selling Cialis and Viagra.

When I wake up in my makeup....

It's too early for that dress.
Wilted and faded
Somewhere in Hollywood
I'm glad I came here
With your pound of flesh.


Celebrity Skin by Hole.

It's such a good song.

What? I forgot to eat?

I have these wonderful pills. Great things really. Prescription only.

Dr. : Why do you believe you need these?
Me: I am a cow, and I don't want to be obese or have health problems.
Dr: Well, good news is, you can be on these pills. Bad news is your blood pressure is a little high...
Me: *Nervous giggle* I worry it will be high, so when the nurse takes it, I tense up...

Dr: *laughs* That happens a lot, ok let me take it again... it's normal. Here you go!

Mom: Those pills don't work
Mom: but I will buy them for you anyway
Me: *happy but confused* why buy them if they don't work?
Mom: They didn't work for me.
Me: Can I try it anyway?
Mom: Yes, be sure to take them every day. I MEAN IT, they are expensive.
Me: Yes, I will! Weee love you weeee thanks weeee!

It's been... 3 days. Since I got them. In 3 days, I have lost 2 lbs.

Yesterday I forgot to eat. Until like... 6 pm when I woke up at 9.

these pills rock.

Revenge is the Best Motivation

I know every woman does this in her life
Diet.
For every success, there are hundreds of failures.
One step forward, two steps back.

But I believe these women have the wrong motivation.

Health for myself and my family. Yes that's fine. But you have no will power, you think "Eh, modern medicine can keep me going."

I want to be more attractive to my husband/bf/partner/crush. Hey that's great but ....it's not like if they really love you, they'll love you even when you're fat.

BUT.
The best motivation I have found... is revenge.

You see, there is a stalker chick. Stalking my husband. She is .... 18 or 19. He is 24. She is a skinny little slut who longs to cheat on her boyfriend with my husband.

Of course I'm jealous. He's MY husband, after all. And yes, she is skinny and I am not. Jealousy. So, motivation. If I can be skinny and a bitch instead of a fat bitch, maybe she'll lay off. If not, I don't care, I'll just post thousands of pictures of hubby giving me piggy back rides and loads of kissy faces. And make them public. Bahaha.

The other revenge? His parents are upset he did not marry a good Christian girl.

Well, he may have married a fat liberal woman, but I daresay they won't be happy when I am a skinny liberal woman.Bahaha!

Of course I want to be skinny for my health and to be more attractive. But there are surgeries for that, so I don't have to have the willpower or motivation. But to say I did it all on my OWN to OWN you? Priceless.

worth every calorie, every drop of sweat, every sore muscle.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make a low cal, low carb breakfast wrap.

Progress

Been doing all right on this diet.

1400 calorie restriction and exercise at least 30 mins a day.

Whether it's walking or ....walking....on the beach, it's something.


Headed to the hometown to walk with me Ma.

This diet has been going on for a week exactly.

Weighed myself, said I lost 5 lbs. Am dubious, will weigh self later on Mom's fancy digital scale.

Did the math, and apparently, I was supposed to lose 4 lbs. huh. Must be working.

Froze some yogurt to curb ice cream fascination, hope it will work.

Battling Demons

We all have them

Mine, like many, are sweets.

Cake.
Pie.
Candy.
Chocolate.
Cookies.
Ding dongs and Swiss cake rolls.
Brownies.
Fudge.

On and on it goes.

Yesterday, I wrote how if I was good, I would go to the ice cream shop.

The more I thought about it, the more guilty I felt.

I'm trying to do what's right. Eat healt(ier) for both myself and my husband.

Get used to fruits and veggies in my diet. count calories. Walk/exercise daily.


I'm proud to say I DID NOT eat ice cream, I had 100 cal yogurt instead.

But today, I had burger and fries.

We win some, we lose some, and in the end, I will have won the war, if not all the battles.

Blah-og

Didnt' know what to write today

Except I'm aching to go to a bookstore.

Soooo I'm also thinking if I can work in a trip to Cold Stone ice cream....


Time to do some sit ups.