A Poem.

It's raining, it's pouring

My old man is snoring.

Fuck this shit, 

I'm not getting wet.

I'll go to the gym in the morning.

Despite my butchered attempts at children's poetry, I actually went to the gym today. And like my poem, it was raining pretty hard. I didn't notice of course, until I was already outside. Hmmm. No jacket or anything. So I just got in the car and went to the gym. Fuck it. It's only water. It's not like I was wearing make-up, had a cute outfit on, or even had clean hair. So it wasn't going to hurt me any.

I love going to the gym late at night (or is it obscenely early?) because no bothers are given. Not that anyone cares what you look like at the gym anyway, but it's extra nice when there are so few people you can count them on your hand, including the staff. 

Today I did the 30 minute express workout. I feel like I have to talk myself into going to the gym even though I actually enjoy myself once I get there. But I was feeling lazy and it's shark week, so negotiations had to be made. "Just go for 30 minutes," my skinny future self is saying. But my PMS self is like "No, you're stupid, and I just want to stay home and eat tacos." "Thirty minutes and you can leave." "Pffft fat chance." "You already took the fat chance, take the skinny chance." "Meh" "DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY." "Jesus, ok, Yoda, I'll go for 30 minutes. But I don't want to be on the elliptical the whole time." "Do the 30 minute express room." "Hmmm" "You can tan after." "...Okay, deal." 

I get there and it's pretty much deserted. There are maybe 4 people there, 2 women and 2 men. The women are fat and they are on the cardio machines. The men are short and they are lifting weights in the corner. Stereotypes, man, stereotypes. So I go in the back room where they have the express circuit and it's all to myself. I go around and set up all the machines and then just have at it. Lifting, doing cardio in between, rinse and repeat. And after the 30 minutes were up, I considered tanning. I was far too sweaty for that nonsense. I didn't want to get undressed then get dressed again in sweaty clothes. I don't take any spare clothes with me to the gym. I just like to go, workout, leave. I wasn't ready to go home yet though, so I hopped on the treadmill and did another 20 minutes of walking at a 3.0 pace on a 7.0 incline. It felt great. It was strenuous enough to keep my heart rate around 145 but it wasn't too taxing on my ankle, so I kept at it. It was nice to change up the cardio game as well. 

My squat challenge... has been SOOO neglected. I can't decide if I should just play catch up with the squats, or if I should not worry about the days I've missed and just start on today's, or what. I think I will play catch up and just get them out of the way. It won't be such a pain once I get it done and get back on schedule. 

I need to quit being on the computer. I have to get back to my crocheting. I am doing something really awesome with it and it needs to be done TOMORROW so I can't really dilly-dally. 

Lata, homies!

Weekend Recharge and Small... Medium... Rant.

Slept a lot this weekend. I guess Brian realised that without me getting sleep the house falls into a black hole of chaos and disorganization and mess and a thousand other adjectives to describe it.

I get overwhelmed easily, especially when it comes to cleaning, so while I slept, Brian cleaned the house for me. He got everything done but 2 loads of dishes. Wow!! I woke up to a completely different house. I loved it! What a great man I am married to. He did make me promise to "at least try" to stay on top of it this week. He didn't do it all to be a wonderful husband though- he wanted to have friends over Sunday, so he knew he had to accomplish something to "convince me" (whatever works, I guess)

In other news, I realized that I am a sack of worthless crap when it comes to being a housewife. I can't stand not working, so I picked up my full schedule again. Good thing too, it's been super busy lately and that just means more money for me!! After a really easy month in April, it feels great to be swamped and busy again.

I still haven't been to the gym since Wednesday night but that is okay, I have still been doing my squats and weight lifting at home. I am eager to hit the gym today though and get in my HIIT. That's high intensity interval training for those of you who don't know what that means. Basically, its short intervals of high intensity exercise (ie run like the zombies are chasing you) followed by medium intervals of recovery (ie, strolling through the library) and you repeat those for about half an hour to 45 minutes.

So I've been doing 30 seconds of zombie running followed by 60 seconds of oh my god I am going to die I need to walk to recover let's pretend I found the world's biggest library and wander around in it for ever-- OH GOD ZOMBIES!!! RUUUUUN

it's entertaining, at least.

In 15 minutes I manage to burn nearly 300 calories, so you can imagine my excitement when I can push it to twenty. I usually cap out around twenty or twenty five minutes, then do a cool down for 10 minutes (hey, it's rough, ok? I max out my heart rate EVERY TIME) then I hide in a corner until I stop hyperventilating.

Friends, I lost 2.2 lbs this week, bringing my total since I restarted WW up to 3.4 lbs, and I am down 23.4 lbs from my highest weight! I have lost a toddler in weight, folks, and it feels GREEEEAT. (yes, said in the Tony the Tiger voice. You're welcome)

I have 1.5 lbs until I hit my 10% goal at WW! 5 lbs until I hit my personal mini-goal! So things are moving right along in the positive direction! I just need to keep doing what I am doing- tracking everything that passes my lips and working out like a beast. Ideally I would like to be under 200 pounds by Drake's 2nd birthday, but realistically I will settle for 215- that would be all of my baby weight GONE in two years, averaging out to about .5 lb a week. SAFE. That gives me 35 weeks to lose 20 lbs, so I think that is plenty of time. I may even surprise myself and hit my 200 mark.

We have had a rough couple of nights around here, Drake has NOT been sleeping more than an hour or two at a time, and it is driving both of us bat shit crazy. Mostly me though, because Brian had to work today so I got him every time he woke up. Which sucked, because I was working too.

**Caution, the following is a rant. Those who do not want to read it may go to this page here and look at fluffy kittens. Those who want to see what ticked me off should keep reading.***

Also, tiny little side rant. This woman who was checking out our groceries really pissed me off. She was talking to the woman in front of us, us, and the woman behind us, the entire time about her child with disabilities. This is not what upsets me, I understand caring for kids is hard enough, and 12395798567293874 more intense when they have disabilities or special needs.What upset me was the woman in front of us was DONE PAYING and the cashier would just NOT let her go. Then, when we get up there she comments on Drake, not unusual, he gets lots of attention. But the first thing she says is "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS EYE?!?!" in this huge loud annoying voice so everyone looks around. So I say "Nothing is wrong with his eye." "THEN WHY DOES IT LOOK ALL FUNNY?!" Obviously she was not graced with a huge vocabulary....I'm getting ruffled and about to blow my lid. Drake has been crying the entire time we have been shopping, I hadn't eaten in awhile so I was hangry, and Brian takes over and explains that there is not anything medically wrong with his eye, but he does have a coloboma in it. Then he explains what that means blah blah blah.... and the bitch goes "Oh." and looks VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED that there is nothing wrong with his vision. Then she goes on to say "Shouldn't he be wearing glasses at all times then?" So I said "what part of there is nothing wrong with his eye don't you understand?" and I left. Hahahaha took all the groceries and Drake, and just left Brian to pay.

Yeah, that's right. If you complain about my son's eye after we have explained that there is nothing wrong with it, I will snap at you and get snarky. And you deserve it. Also I know that part of it is because Drake was being cranky and I was frazzled and hungry myself, so I had ZERO tolerance, but I don't play nice with people who keep insisting they know what is "the correct" way to "treat" his eye. Look, PAL, we have an EYE DOCTOR for that VERY REASON. And if the EYE PROFESSIONAL says there is nothing wrong with it, I do not want your cashier expertise on the matter. Unless I am writing you a check.

Rant over.


I have some exciting things coming up this week, like a baby shower for my best friend, a birthday party for Brian's friend, Mother's Day (!!) and next week is our 4th Anniversary!! So I can't wait to show you what I have been doing to prepare for all of that stuff.

Squat Challenge Update

Anyone else doing the 30 Day Squat challenge from Pinterest? As I mentioned previously, I started it on May 1st, so I just completed Day 3. Technically it is May 4th, but I haven't been to sleep yet so shut your pie holes, I did my squats at 4 am it doesn't matter as long as they get done, okay?!?! Ok.

In three days, I have done a total of 165 squats! Half of those were standard squats and the other half have been wide-stance squats to work out the inner thighs more.

UGH I hate that I decided to do that because my thighs buuuuurn. It sure does hurt to do anything, including laying down. Although, to be honest, it's not all from this squat challenge. I was at the gym on Wednesday night/early Thursday and I did the hip abduction and adduction machines... you know, the ones that make you feel like you are at the gynecologist? You spread your legs then push them back together. Anyway, the machines are weighted so I thought I would work out like a man, and use weights that were at the very limit of what I was able to lift. Obviously I tried a little too hard. My legs and hips are so swollen, my underwear doesn't fit! And I know it's not that I have gained weight, as I am actually down this week!

I also must admit that I did not stretch afterward, and I attribute some of my pain to that. I am working on stretching now, since I made the mistake of not doing it and can hardly walk, let alone take a pee without being in excruciating pain. Seriously- recovering from the c-section was easier!

My little Dragon boy woke up in the middle of typing up this post. He cracks me up, he is changing soooo much. I took him out of his crib and the first thing he does is wander into the kitchen and reach for the peanut butter. haha! Guess the little monkey was hungry. So he had a half-peanut butter sandwich and I gave him some juice. We read a story and practised giving smooches. He loves to give kisses now and he does it all shy like, where he leans in all uncertain. Hahaha! It makes me laugh so much. Then I told him that it was time to go back to bed, so he grabbed his bottle and walked right back into his room. I blew Brian's mind with that trick earlier tonight.

Ah it's probably time to get to bed since it's 5am and I have a busy day ahead. Have a good weekend, lovelies!